another to continue. it's raining in outside. the best thing to do is to get my self a slurp of milo rite now.

this is my journal draft on 12th March 2004. just to share with everyone with cup of milo and my cadbury choc. my friend who just came from msia gave me three bar of big cadbury choc. it's a time to celebrate ! yeay.
i just realize that i am more delusion than everyone could imagine.

imagine my self in next ten years, aged 31,single, environmentalist - an engineer of course, working at the best engineering firm in France - still the same spirit - to protect the earth and unite the nation * i borrow the quote from Rocket Team* Jesse n James. pOkemon

my consulting engineering firm had a join venture with another constructional engineering firm. the france government plan to built a tunnel within its range of mountain - environmental friendly and no destruction to the environment. * that is why my skills are required 'since i am the best person available. ^ ^

so one day, our firm had a meeting with that firm.

as i was sitting from my desk bending my right leg on top of the left lap, i came across a familiar face coming into the office. he is the engineer of course. the ben affleck look.

his face was remarkable for its handsome of feature than for a singular and dreamy earnestness of expression. which made the ideal start when everyone look at him. by which the dullest doing and the most literature impressed, without exactly knowing why.

while he was chatting to the head officer of my firm, i made a step earlier to the meeting room. but somehow a quiet scene now rises before us. A large room, neatly wallpapered meeting room, modern grey-blue in color. its blue carpet and without any particle of dust, glossy modern shape of chairs, unique and slender with a confortable look on its cushion. just near the entrance door, there stood a square glossy table, that prepared for us. the document file were arranged neatly waiting to be open. so i sat, feeling uneasy, but i have to be professional. things in past should let go.
as he entered the room, i felt the nerve, a twing of remorse. there i sat in front of him, eye to eye. by solicitation of the cushion, a real confortable and persuasive I just love to gently swaying right and left with my eyes bending on the files.
his dark eyes was raisedto follow his anoyance mood and just by his stare i stopped swanying and said " let's start the meeting now " it was plain to see how i was astonished by this man.
the man was sitting beside him was sporting, like tropikal butterfly, hither over the floor and he shoved a depth of firmness and steady behavior.
that great looking man with high of egos sat with a bright new model of sony laptop on his lap, into which he was carefully listening to my thought.
i was having some asthmatic affection, or perhaps from nervous dearrangement. but he just gently swaing backward forward and the chair kept up a kind of subdued - creechtycrawchy. and that would have been intolerable. i gazed tru his thick glasses, giving him a strong, stern, seriously warning look. winning this annoying from him was the only victory.
oh yes.. there the neck tie, tied neatly on his neck. i learned from him that the engineer doesnt wear tie and started to give him back the annoying look. in just a nick of time i went to the memory lane and back. another ehem and a glance look of his stare, unconsiously i slipped my presentation papers and nailed to the blue carpet without any feeling, speechless. i was possesed, bewitched by the wonder. what a coincidence after a long time.
it was so silly after realizing what had happened. humiliated by own act, abashed and slowly i bend over my knees and collected them all. it was his jeering remarks, and the insult crushed me.
my next point of argument then were everything that might againts him. i cant stand him winning over me. especially in this situation, this case, a dream that he told me once and he hoped for.
with emotional, and unintelligent argument fact, it was a sore loser act. - me, i felt the eyes filled with cristal clear pearl that started to burst out.
and in sudden i was awaked by a familiar sentence...weh... yang ko mengader ni pehal?

it was then waking me up from a great disaster, tragic lost and nice afternoon rest.

not all wonder are lost. but some are loser* ekeke - myra
it woke me up from my nap, im glad its not my nightmare tht haunted